A New Beginning

Ok, so we are in the barn. We moved in here around March. It's now June 1st. The other house needs so much work and we have bills from the other house we still have to pay. Evidently, the City of Ho'ville doesn't send out your power bill for 2 months. What I mean is, in March, we paid January's bill. We are not behind, it's just how they bill. So we are still paying them. It's totalled about $700 since we left. C'mon already!

Kids are loving it down here, but then, we all are. Being so close to Mama Dee is WONDERFUL! We walk up the road to her house, the boys get to visit and play in the tree house, and we take tick-filled walks through the woods trying to find our way to her house through the "jungle". Joe takes the kids for rides around the yard in the trailer hooked up to the lawn mower. I lay out in the sun during the day, sit on the porch at night, and we make bonfires and sit around drinking a beer or margarita and roasting marshmallows.

I've tried losing weight since I got here. Well, actually I lost 7 lbs when we first moved in due to lack of food and lots of moving around. Now I've gotten comfortable and, in turn, uncomfortable. I tried to set goals, take measurements, count points, count carbs, count calories, everything. My first goal was set out through a 3 to 4 month period. DIDN'T WORK. I gave up on like DAY 2. Then I said, "ok, just ONE week." Couldn't do it. I binge eat. I went through a lot of binge eating about a month ago. Ok, so after studying and researching for a week or so, it seems that maybe my body needs a fast. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one meal-that-I-have-to-cook-for-them at a time. I'm preparing for the symptoms, the temptations, and the water. All of the studies say that my stomach will shrink during this time and that I should expect to eat less afterwards. GOOD! That's what i need.

I've been preparing by eating salads at night for the last week or two. My calorie intake has been about 900-1000 calories a day for a week. NOT ONE SINGLE MUTHA F*CKIN POUND LOST. So here goes. I'm fasting, dammit. I'm not PMSing, I'm not sick, I'm not bothered by anything at this time, so now is the time to do it. My anniversary is in 13 days, so maybe I'll be lucky enough to lose a few pounds before then. :) (gulps water down)

I'm off to do some more reading on fasting. Seems EVERYONE recommends recording emotions, symptoms, and thoughts through some type of journaling. Guess I'll be here. :/

I've been fasting since Sunday, May 31st, 2009 at 8pm. That's 12hours and 41 minutes. I guess fasting begins somewhere between 12 and 14 hours from last meal. My last meal was hamburger with pickles, onions, lots of lettuce, mayo, a couple of french fries, ketchup and a bun.

How do I feel? Like I need to get up and do some laundry. I always feel like that, though. No headache, no dread (yet). Happy because Kyle is finally back home. I don't care about dishes or toys right now. They can wait, they aren't going anywhere, and I don't care if anyone else sees them all over the place. That might change later, but for now, I'm chillin.